Saturday, July 21, 2012 - 0 comments

A gift of love ( PART 2 )

“ Darling, you know what date is today, right? “ I looked at my mother and answered; of course, it’s Friday, mum!”.  “ Just if you had forgotten, Kak Limah and her family will come tonight, can you make it tonight? “ 

“ Alright, mum, I’ll make sure I make it on time,  Insya Allah, I have to go now, Assalamualaikum.” Just then, my mother remind me;

“Ehm, ehm, forget something?” I turned and smiled before I take her hand and kissed it, “ make du’a for me, mum? “ I smiled hoping for her blessings. There is a saying, that I will always remind myself of, about the best deeds in this world,

Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) has said: “The best deeds are: Prayer in its stipulated hour, goodness towards parents and Jihad in the way of Allah.”

 And, to see my parents smile indeed, give me the warmth in my heart, the feeling of being blessed. And I drive to the collage to start my usual routine as a lecturer, I teach my students and help them with their learnings, at the same time, I  hope that I can serve this small group of ummah in finding their way towards the real success, as I always advised them;

Abu Darda’ ( rahimahullah ) mentioned; “ A person will not be an ‘alim , until he is a person who is a seeker of knowledge,  and you will not be an ‘alim, with that ‘Ilm until you are a person who acts upon that ‘Ilm”

Oh, and this advice includes me and you, too! =)

Being a lecturer has been my dream, this entire life, and Alhamdulillah, Allah grant it for me, and it is with His help that I had achieved until what I have become today. And every time, I felt this joyous moment of being loved by Him, I can’t help but recalling the song I used to listen to, sung by Maher Zain, “ I love You So “ and prayed;“ Oh, Allah, don’t ever let me be misguided in every moment of my life, show me the way and let your love be in my heart “


As soon as I arrived at home that night, I was quite shocked on the arrival of the unknown guest. Just then, I remember the conversation I had with my mother that early morning before I go to work.

“ Oh, this could be Kak Limah and her family, I murmured myself. I greet them with  salam and a smile, but yet this-innocent-me could not catch on to their real intention on visiting us that night. Until, my mother happily expressed;

“ They come for a proposal.”

 “ On what?” there goes this innocent child, again.

“Marriage, of course, what other could it be? “ And before I could think long for all the question that occupies my mind at that time, my mother aided me with the answers.

“ He is my friend’s son. He’s quite your age, an engineer who memorizes the Quran. Now, he’s doing his PHD in Wales. He’ll be back in 2 months. Oh, actually, he had been here last year during Raya, but I assumed that you would not have noticed him.  I’ll let you decide; give me your answer, later, ok? “

Suddenly, for all these years, being a student and a lecturer, having to reply those difficult and challenging questions inquired by my lecturers and my students, I have no doubt, that I can find the answers in books or through my learning experiences, but, yet, I didn’t have the answer for this easy and straight-forward query, by my own mother.

All I need now is an answer from Him!

Subhanallah, could you think a day that we lived without having to turn to Him in supplication?

 We are just a human being created upon His mercy, and live upon His Mercy, and you think that we don't ever need to ask for His Mercy? Even soul mates are given as a mercy from Him. Right?

And during the last third of the night, He witnessed the hopeless girl who supplicates to Him, for guidance and mercy upon the best choice for her Istikharah. And as tears falling from her eyes, she remembered, a quote from her dearest mother, when she asked, about her father;

“ Mother, how come you know that father is the right guy for you? Haven’t you got a number of proposals before meeting him? Why did you refuse them and why did you choose him? “

My mother smiled meaningfully before answered; “ I make a do’a ever since I ‘m in your age, and He granted it, I never feel regret that I married on my late 20’s, when all my friends have been blessed with an early marriage, because having to meet your father and let he becomes my life partner is the greatest blessing I had ever get, it’s A GIFT OF LOVE

“ Oh mother, what is the du’a? Tell me, tell me!” And my mother laughed.

“What is it?” I asked curiously.

“ It seems just yesterday, I hold your little hand when you’re just a baby, I just didn’t realize that you have grown up being a lady, a muslimah, Insya Allah”

“And, the du’a is…”. I smiled, as I repeated the du’a in my heart, and promised myself, “ To love Him before him is a must that would surely brings you an ultimate happiness in life, a gift of love”

Thursday, July 19, 2012 - 0 comments

A gift of love ( PART 1 )

I felt something churning in my stomach. I can't really think well.  I take a book and read, but in minutes, my head just like wondering other things. What just happen to me? It seems I am losing my focus right now. I thought of getting something to eat but just received disappointment upon looking at my empty fridge. " I need to go to the market " I monologued.

When suddenly, a phone rings, and luckily, it was from my dearest friend whom happen to just arrived from a 2 weeks vacation in Sydney. The call somewhat made my day, as I was alone and really need someone to talk to right now, we decided to meet in a cafe house that evening.

“ What happen to you? You look thin, I remember , the last day I saw you, you are cheer as ever, it seems you encounter problems lately? Or just missing me too much? hehe “ I smiled thankfully, she always have a way to make me felt content enough just seeing her, As what I expected would have  been blurt out by my dearest friend, oh, she always have this remarkable strong of mind, no kidding, I remember the day when I met her in school, and she said, “ hey, you’re the girl I met at the shop yesterday, the one who wore the blue dress, and a white scarf, buying the blueberry cake, right? ,not to mention,  in details, yup, that’s her. And to think these past 12 years I had known her, I had no doubt that she will still remember our old times in school as teenagers. We are grown up now. We have our own work and family to attain to, but these just making our bond of friendship getting closer.

And, that moment, I just felt like bursting into tears and tell all that had been distracting my mind all the while, but something stop me from doing it, it’s my pride. And just then, I told myself, " You need time, to figure this out, before you get anyone else involved in your problem right now. Be patient, find your own solution, only then, you ask for your friend’s advice"   I just regard her with a "nothing" and smiled pretending to be all right, but this clever friend of mine seems to notice it, and she said, “ If you have a problem, split it out, don't hide it too long in your heart, it might be a disease , you know, sometimes, we really need someone to talk to apart from Allah, of course, isn’t it our nature, itself?"

“But..” I try to deny, before then she continued,”  Isn’t this is what you want all along having to meet me here, to talk about your problems? “  She really knew me well, I can’t even hide it from her, she had figure it out long ago, before our meeting. This is what I really like about her, she always there, to talk to, to lend her ear and eyes, to listen to my problems, since the day I met her, she had been a friend that I long to search for and I ‘m glad that Allah destined me to meet her. ALHAMDULILLAH.

“ Hm….but…” before I can finish my line, my friend cut in “ now, what? “ “ I really want something to eat, hehe, it seems my stomach is rumbling begging for some dishes” My friend laughed joyfully;
“ haha, I bet you can eat anything right now!”
I can’t help but smile. We decided to continue our conversation after maghrib prayer and headed quickly to the mosque nearby. The soothing voice of an Imam reciting the Quran somehow made my heart in tranquility. Before long, the call of Maghrib prayer was heard and we took our ablution and prepared ourselves for the Jemaah prayer.

I took the chance to greet other’s jemaah after we had finished performing our prayer. It was a pleasant scenery to watch indeed, I always have this attached feelings whenever I’m in a mosque, it feels that my heart had found the place where it belongs, “ Hey, you seems quite lost in your thought, what are you thinking?” my friend patted me from behind, I turned to face her and smile, sincerely, I answered
“ Nothing much to tell, I just feel tranquil "

“So, what is it that you want to talk about, I ‘m  all ear! “ my friend said anxiously. I was a bit reluctant to tell at first, but seeing that eager face in front of me, that always find a way to comfort me, I exhaled and begin to tell my story. And within the moment, the memory seems so fresh playing on my mind , and to begin with…